Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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