So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
She even gives head with a lisp.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
