Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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