I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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