Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
