And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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