i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
