let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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