one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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