She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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