Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
