Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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