If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
