Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize