And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
