im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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