We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
