How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
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