I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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