lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Are we still banned from the library?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
