her vagine was all disorganized.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
