Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I think your dad took our porno
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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