Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
