I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
