I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
