Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
where are you?
Hypothermia
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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