i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
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