I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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