We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
