If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I love you. Go after that dick
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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