Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I'm both gender and math confused
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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