also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
