She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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