Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
