I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
