He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
