chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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