your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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