I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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