I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I think i got beer on your cat.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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