my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
