You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I can't turn off my feet"
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
