the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
