Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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