He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize