So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
