I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
