I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize
