Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
