Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
We had to coat check the pizza.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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