the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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