i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
