you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
