cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
