piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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