remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
