bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
