Whod you bang
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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