is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize