I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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