Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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