Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Damn victory sex feels great
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
