i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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