names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
