Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
