I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
